you lose some, you lose some.

It is apparent to myself & everyone that I hold close to me that I like to have a drink or 10
when I go out. Some may call it a problem but I believe it to be more cathartic then anything. I am going to lay blame for my binging habits on the fact that I have minuet self confidence and very unreliable social skills, which simply diminish when I have had the perfect amount of beverages and i am soon smarter, more witty and oozing with drunken charm. More on this later.

Seeing as I havent written a post in about 2 years quite a few things have changed and the last boy of interest is so far gone and was quite rapidly replaced by long time crush and now near two year long bf. Alas today for the first time in two years I feel like writing till my tender finger tips will have no more. These cruisey last two years have all come down to me falling through as a girlfriend due to my inability to hold back my true feelings when I am intoxicated ... when they seem to spurt out even meaner then they ever would have.

So slipping in a harsh comment about something I said when I was drunk to you ( one month later,  which I have no recollection of ) ... when I am obviously being flirty is not acceptable. When the back bone of what I said is true and the only reason I feel bad about it is because it came out bitchy ( I have been told).


ARGHHHHHHHHHH.

What would one like me to do with this information one month after the incident in a total unrelated argument. If you have something to fucking say, say it. Dont dwell on it for a month and slip it in in a random conversation and hope for the best. Do not proceed to blame it on the fact that you could not tell if i was joking or not because if you cannot tell that by now then we shouldn't be together.

Thanks a lot for ruining my entire evening.
"Fuck you, you ho, I dont want you back"