you lose some, you lose some.

It is apparent to myself & everyone that I hold close to me that I like to have a drink or 10
when I go out. Some may call it a problem but I believe it to be more cathartic then anything. I am going to lay blame for my binging habits on the fact that I have minuet self confidence and very unreliable social skills, which simply diminish when I have had the perfect amount of beverages and i am soon smarter, more witty and oozing with drunken charm. More on this later.

Seeing as I havent written a post in about 2 years quite a few things have changed and the last boy of interest is so far gone and was quite rapidly replaced by long time crush and now near two year long bf. Alas today for the first time in two years I feel like writing till my tender finger tips will have no more. These cruisey last two years have all come down to me falling through as a girlfriend due to my inability to hold back my true feelings when I am intoxicated ... when they seem to spurt out even meaner then they ever would have.

So slipping in a harsh comment about something I said when I was drunk to you ( one month later,  which I have no recollection of ) ... when I am obviously being flirty is not acceptable. When the back bone of what I said is true and the only reason I feel bad about it is because it came out bitchy ( I have been told).


ARGHHHHHHHHHH.

What would one like me to do with this information one month after the incident in a total unrelated argument. If you have something to fucking say, say it. Dont dwell on it for a month and slip it in in a random conversation and hope for the best. Do not proceed to blame it on the fact that you could not tell if i was joking or not because if you cannot tell that by now then we shouldn't be together.

Thanks a lot for ruining my entire evening.
"Fuck you, you ho, I dont want you back"

arsonist in my brain

I do not know if i want to do fashion design.
who advised me to choose a career path at the age of 18,
none has ever been so ill informed as to what the future could hold.
i find no enjoyment in pattern making,
NONE
i hate time constraint and deadlines,
I hate failing to meet people high standards,
i hate being forced to find inspiration in things that don't inspire me
 guess i am only still doing it now because i don't quit things half way
I do however love drawing
i love music
I love the beach
i love adventure
To an extent i crave it a little

looking at society i don't really believe many people do enjoy there jobs so it makes me feel guilty for thinking that fashion design and a good fashion design coarse at that makes me so miserable.
& really i do love fashion and clothing and material and ahhh delicious
so why am i constantly so depressed at uni .

whose to say a normal job isn't travelling around scuba diving  or surfing or making music all year

what am i doing
the ideas in my head are on fire again and causing a ruckus inside my skull.

ARGH
i miss myself.

fair well.

meow.

Ahh alas we have a final product for the booklet and my new mac decided to arrive on the day b4 it was due .. sad face. Apart from the devilish hassle to complete this i really did have fun completing it and i'm quite proud of the outcome.
Throughout my booklet design i believe that i have used quite a lot of illustrator and photoshop skills to create the final outcome. The fonts that i have chosen were also quite thought through .. the headings vary between a san serif font and a cursive font in different weights, sizes and spacings. The main block of text is quite easy to read but still maintains an edgy feel.
below are some examples of pages that i have created for my label, that were included in my booklet!

KINDRED

Week 2 blog efforts

KINDRED
1. A group of related persons, as a clan or tribe.

2. Having a similar or related origin, nature, or character: kindred emotions.

The above is what i have chosen to focus my label on, it has special importance to me as me and my own Kindred soul, my bestfriend have long discussed our inexplainable link between our minds and our similar longing for the same objects and future.

I have choosen to use this for my label as it portrays somthign that i feel very passionatly about and what to share this with others and what better way to do it than through the all amazing shoe. Yes i have always wanted to design footwear so there never has been a better time than now.

I have been quite slack with my blogging efforts so this one should have been posted a while back but just to catch you up on things i have been experimenting with my logos and have created some interetsting ones that i quite like, although i lost my usb so i may have to recreate them hopfully wont take me tooo long ... stupidly didnt back it up :(

university.

So i have been rather slack and haven't blogged since the 1st week of uni as i have been insanely busy ... work rostering me on 5 shifts in one week is not cool ..
Today i am working on my layout and the content of my task as last week i began to develop my logo design. I have decided to base my label on shoe design as this is an area i am very interested in and would like to learn more about and develop my understanding of the industry.
I have stupidly left my usb at home today and now have none of the work that i completed last week but i will upload some pictures when i get home of my developing designs ... if i can open them on my stupid computer.

Fair well for now
gilan.

university.

Hello blog!

I havent seen you for a while

University has just begun and the overwhelming rush of work is seeping in

arghhhh must not give in to the temptation of doing nothing

i did just sleep from like 5 till 8 rather terrible.

Anyway i have been assigned with Yohji Yamamoto as my choosen designer for menswear and i am rather pleased his quirky yet highly tailored and dressy style, time to design .

9 am starts are not cool

you work nights i study days there is a clear class here

europe soon must not spend money

do do do do do !

Must i also say playground weekender best best best !

Au revoir xx

Content.

con·tent ²  (kn-tnt)adj.

1. Desiring no more than what one has; satisfied.

2. Ready to accept or acquiesce; willing: 

The above troubles me alot.

How can the definition of one word be so conflicting.

will i always be the latter...

weird mood, bad day, stop thinking.

crackfoxing

we are sick . and we love it
i want you but i dont want to break him
but i can probably never really say goodbye
ps. i love you
and so it goes the endless death circle growing in my brain
im pulping all over the place
and yes i do need your defibrillator to save me
but you probably shouldnt , most likely you will only end up injuring yourself
that's it i choose you and your fucking Yoshi, its not even Yoshi its mushroom.

if time could stop how could i make this more poetic
when there's nothing more pathetic to be said .


i would take a drag from the cigarette embedded in that ladies nub if you would just share with me the answers.

M.I.A

I have been missing for quite awhile now .. i think my life spiraled a little out of control.
No in fact very much out of control. Uni holidays didn't assist, money that i don't have was spent, boys were seen that shouldn't have been and work that needed to be completed was not.

Im back in the concrete building that is UTS again and i am struggling to keep alive. Although due to the fact that my room has been semi competed life is looking up .. i may have also made the epic decision that has been haunting me and i am beginning to save again i hope.

At this current moment i am taking a break from tacking my top due next week. It has been an extended break and i don't want to do anymore.. i would be able to sleep if i was more productive in the holidays.. idiot.

WHERE IS MY MSG REPLY GOD DAMMIT!

..who wants to come with me to the beach right now ..i feel like i need to run free a little.
Life will not be complete till i am within walking distance of the ocean everyday.


I don't think i will ever know who i really do fancy...
I trust the UMI, so why do i seem to be going against its perfect formulation ?

message revived.
The rapid speed that my emotions change at is retarded.

time to finsih
Bonjour blogasaurus.

procrastination the devil.

Im surprised that this heading does not pop up more often in my writing as this tends to be all i ever do, ever.

Im prettty sure due to my lack of time management skills i will have extremely limited sleep this week and tears may be shed. But alas i cant help but fuck around when things are not due less that 24hrs away. sometimes one day just isnt enough. 

So i have hit the point in the term of uni when i have no time for myself due to mammoth amounts of uni work  forcing me to pity eat myself into obesity. One starts with eggs for breakfast, not to bad, follows up with vegetable soup for lunch... comes home to a dinner of schnitzel and cheesy cauliflower( really mum you want overweight children?) and due to the highly fat injected dinner gives up and eats Doritos and popcorn. Pretty sure im destined to be a fat il-disciplined freak for the rest of my life.

Moving on from obesity and the constant cloud of doom it reins on my life i have finally achieved something of substance on illustrator or so i believe ... Both of these being created in less than a day i feel as though this is quite a great achievement as i lack numerous essential skills in this area of expertise. Magazine cover and McQueen outfit cover complete !

Daises we will launch our magazine Kindred soon, im not lying. Do you want to quit uni and just make it? it will be amazing you know it will.

Sincerely Misguided one.

Hey everyone, im a Virgin!

It is not normal to publicly announce multiple times in a single conversation that you are are virgin. No one really wants to hear about your sexual status that often when your hairline starts 2cm away from your god forsaken eyeballs, nor do they appreciate it when you hand and eye molester their freshy lovers & blatantly pretend to forgot your name in the space of 10 mins.

I should probably stop ranting about whorish non whorish girl and do my uni work but i feel ill with pity and disgust that someone should stoop so low, though i guess when you do locate yourself at such places as i was it was bound to happen. My parents need to be punished for the location they choose to bring me up in.

There was also alot of pondering today as to what we do with our lives in the year 2010. I hate technology and the whole processes of life that we deem the appropriate way to live... Someone join me and become a travelling nomad? Cute is what we aim for say it well..

The way were living makes no sense, take me back to the days of innocence.

thanx for last night :)

Words are important & should be thoroughly thought through before sent out to other human beings, something i received earlier this morning required a lot more thought process than it received. No one really wants to feel like a  hooker. 

Apart from feeling slightly like a favor to men,  i made some quite notable vintage purchases today that lifted the mood. two leather bags, one particularly delish from morocco, sheer olive green long sleeved dress, fur vest and Scanlan and Theodore trench coat. I need a new cupboard.

Charlie Brown fashion show tomorrow, outfit needs to be finalised.

effervescent feelings.

The Sabbeth

oh twilight you would be nothing without your violins.

tween saga > uni work

'HOLY SHIT YOU"RE GORGEOUS DAY' get fucked

The one that smells like daises has been developing a delicious wardrobe her whole life without her knowledge, many thanks to the precious grandma. Now that we have both come of age, there is much appreciation of the delectable items that reside inside this never ending cupboard... Carla Zampatti your a god! wow daisies just did a massive drool out of the corner of her mouth, this can be forgiven because appox 2 minutes ago i shared with her a recent sms i received off the current man of interest.

It read as follows:

Today is national 'HOLY SHIT YOU"RE GORGEOUS DAY' send this to someone gorgeous, not me though, i've been getting this fucking text all day.

This is no way acceptable ever.

Im pretty sure this is some kind of deal demolishing act.

I know it sounds harsh to crush the whole affair down from a single text, but we must look at it on a broader scale not only is the text a sign of retardation allowing him to think that actually forwarding these types of messages to people you fancy is allowed, but is also a sign of personality, one that is not fully developed perhaps?

Though in general the rest of the man of interest is trumping the fact that he is a massive faggot on occasion. Heres hoping this will never occur again.

This must come to an end now as we head off to our wog infested local to consume five dollar cocktails on our bastard uni stricken budgets, that leave us stranded to mingle with the hairiest low lifes this side of Sydney. 

Get us out of here.

P.s if you are on the ball today you will notice how many times i utilize words such as delish, if i dont stop thinking of/ consuming food soon i may have to end myself. 

Hold it to your heart and press it to your lips.

Due to my absence from living in the past two weeks because of excessive amounts of working, i did a little too much catching up this weekend. Hot dman got the best of me on thurs/fri .. eloise and i tried to recover the next day but only found ourselves overindulging. Saturday i made the bad decision to drive to ivy, so much staring, insane space cadet, interesting ride home, i am not lady gaga. With around 6 hours sleep under my belt for the past 3 nights work on Sunday morning was painful, my poor eyeballs. Alas i headed out for birthday drinks at the Winsto later on, birthday boy tried to make out with my cheek, i was not drunk enough for this to be acceptable. I was a little stranded and a friend came and collected me, he probably shouldn't have but i appreciated it a lot. Boys make me laugh. Oh and i had a very pleasant dream on Tuesday night i forgot to note it down before, i love good dreams. I also love Eloise for the title of this post, even though we nearly ended up wrapped around a pole it was well worth the classic nature of the call.